NOTICE THIS: The World Doesn't Need Another Copy of Somebody Else. It Needs You.
How to Be Yourself, Find Your Originality, Stop Comparing Yourself to Others, and Remember Why You Matter — By QueenB.Divine
NOTICE THIS… Have you noticed how little originality seems to be left in the world? Especially on television. Good Lord, I turned on the TV the other day and realized we're still making sequels to movies I watched when I was young. Toy Story 5? Really? I remember going to the movie theatre in Toronto, sitting there enjoying the original Toy Story and thinking, well, that was lovely. What a wonderful idea. And here we are, all these years later, still digging around in the same toy box. Apparently, even the toys can't retire anymore. They've got to keep working like the rest of us.
Anyway, before we get into all this originality business, how are you? How's life treating you? Have you had a chance to sit down and think today? And I mean really think. Not scroll, not listen to somebody else's opinion, not ask the internet what you should be doing with your life. I mean sit with yourself, perhaps have a cup of coffee, look out the window and listen to that little voice inside your head. The one that belongs to you. Because I'm starting to believe that one of the greatest things being taken away from us isn't money, opportunity or even time. It's the ability to hear our own thoughts without somebody else telling us what to think.
And isn't that something? We're living in a world where you can watch a movie, and before you've even decided whether you enjoyed it, somebody online is explaining why you should love it or hate it. You can wear a perfectly lovely outfit, and apparently somebody somewhere has decided it's no longer fashionable. You can create something with your own two hands, and within five minutes, you're being told it needs to look more like whatever everybody else is making. Who the hell decided that? Seriously. When did being yourself become something you had to get permission to do?
I look at Hollywood sometimes and wonder where all the new ideas have gone. Now, don't misunderstand me. There are some wonderfully creative people making interesting things. But the endless sequels, remakes and familiar storylines make me wonder whether we've become so afraid of trying something different that we'd rather keep selling the same idea in a different pair of shoes. And speaking of shoes, have you noticed how much of the entertainment world looks alike? The same costumes, the same performances, the same poses, the same carefully manufactured image of being different while looking remarkably similar to everybody else. Everybody wants to stand out, but nobody wants to risk looking strange. Well, that's a problem. Because originality sometimes looks strange before anybody understands it.
And that's where I want to talk about you. How do you become your authentic self when you've spent so much of your life trying to fit in? I think you begin by giving yourself permission to have an opinion that hasn't been borrowed from somebody else. Sounds simple, doesn't it? But try it. The next time you watch something, read something or hear somebody sharing their perspective, don't immediately reach for the comments to find out what everybody else thinks. Ask yourself what you think. Did you enjoy it? Did it make sense? Did it make you uncomfortable? Did it remind you of something you've experienced? And here's the important part. Can you explain your thoughts without needing somebody else to agree? Because that's where originality begins, at least for me. Not with some grand invention or million-dollar idea, but with the courage to recognize that my experience of the world belongs to me.
My mama used to say, "There's nothing new under the sun." And I understand what she meant. Human beings have been loving, creating, arguing, building, dreaming and making an absolute mess of things for a very long time. Most ideas have roots somewhere. But I started thinking about that saying, and something bothered me. Because every human being born into this world is new under the sun. You are. I am. That little baby born this morning is. Nobody has lived your exact life through your exact eyes with your exact collection of experiences, memories, disappointments, humour and ridiculous little habits. Even when we share the same interests, our perspectives aren't identical. So why are we working so hard to become copies of somebody else?
And here's another question I think deserves an answer. Why do I feel like I don't matter? That's something a lot of people quietly wonder, especially when they're spending time online watching everybody else appear more successful, more attractive, more popular and more financially comfortable. You see somebody with a million followers and think your little contribution doesn't mean anything. You see somebody making money from an idea you had five years ago, and suddenly you're wondering whether you missed your opportunity. You watch somebody living what looks like a perfect life, and your own life starts looking a little dull. Meanwhile, you've got a sink full of dishes, laundry waiting to be folded and a coffee that's gone cold because you've been staring at somebody else's wonderful existence for forty-five minutes. Oh, social media. What a lovely little machine for making perfectly ordinary people feel like they're not doing enough.
But here's what I've learned. Your value doesn't begin when somebody notices you. You don't suddenly become important because a video goes viral. You don't become original because somebody calls you brilliant. And you don't stop mattering because the world hasn't figured out what to do with your particular gifts. I think this is especially important for creators. Because creating something original takes energy. It takes thought. It takes time, and sometimes it takes a ridiculous amount of courage. You put something out into the world that came from your own mind, your own hands or your own experience. Then you sit there waiting to see whether anybody gives a damn. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes you spend three hours creating something meaningful, and the internet rewards you with seven views and one comment from somebody trying to sell you cryptocurrency. Wonderful. Thank you for your support.
But does that mean the work wasn't worth creating? I don't believe so. Now, don't get me wrong. Creators deserve to be paid for their work. Exposure doesn't pay the grocery bill, and nobody should be expected to work for free forever. But I also don't want the number of views, likes or dollars attached to something to become the only measure of whether it matters. Because some of the most meaningful things we create might reach one person at exactly the moment they need to hear them. And that one person counts.
Which brings me to another question. How do you stop comparing yourself to other people? Well, I'm still learning that one myself. But I've discovered that comparison becomes a lot less powerful when I spend more time creating my own life than studying everybody else's. I don't mean ignoring the world. I love learning from other people. I love watching somebody do something extraordinary and thinking, goodness, that's interesting. How did they come up with that? Inspiration is wonderful. But inspiration and imitation aren't the same thing. There's a difference between seeing somebody's creativity and allowing it to encourage yours, and seeing somebody's life and deciding yours needs to look exactly like it. You can admire somebody's garden without digging up every flower in your own. And that's what I think we're forgetting. We all have different soil, different roots, different circumstances and different things we're trying to grow.
I certainly didn't arrive at this point in my life by following some perfect little instruction manual. I left my childhood home at twelve years old. I lived on the streets of Toronto. I went through group homes. I had to find my way through experiences that weren't exactly designed to make a young girl feel secure, confident or certain about who she was supposed to become. And being a Jamaican Canadian woman, trying to understand my roots while feeling disconnected from parts of them, added another layer to that journey. But let me tell you something. You can take a Jamaican woman out of certain surroundings, but you can't simply erase what's inside her. There were things about myself I had to discover because nobody was standing there handing me a beautifully wrapped explanation of who I was. I had to learn. I had to make mistakes. I had to develop skills. And I had to figure out how to live with myself when life wasn't particularly kind.
Was it lonely? Absolutely. Was it frightening? You bet your sweet backside it was. But somewhere along the way, I began to understand that if I spent my entire life trying to become what everybody else expected, I might never discover who I actually was. And that's a terrible thing to lose. Not because everybody needs to become famous, wealthy or extraordinary in some public way. But because you deserve to experience your own life as yourself.
Think about that for a moment. How many things have you wanted to do but talked yourself out of because somebody might laugh? How many opinions have you swallowed because everybody in the room seemed to think differently? How many creative ideas have you dismissed because they didn't look like something already succeeding on the internet? And how many times have you looked at yourself and decided you weren't good enough before you'd even given yourself a chance? Good Lord, sometimes we're our own worst audience. We haven't even started the performance, and we're already booing ourselves off the stage.
That's where self-love comes in. And I don't mean standing in front of a mirror shouting that you're magnificent while secretly wondering whether you've lost your mind. Although if that works for you, carry on. I'm talking about something a little more practical. Self-love is allowing yourself to exist without constantly apologizing for who you are. It's recognizing that you can be different without being wrong. You can be inexperienced without being incapable. You can change your mind without becoming a hypocrite. You can make something imperfect and still be proud that you created it. And you can be original without inventing something the world has never seen before. Because originality isn't always about doing something nobody else has ever done. Sometimes it's about bringing your own perspective to something familiar. A conversation. A story. A recipe. A piece of art. A handmade creation. A little observation about life that somebody else might have overlooked.
That's part of why I created my self-love and self-care channel. I wanted somewhere to share the things I notice. Not because I believe I have every answer, but because I believe there's value in asking questions and being willing to share what I'm learning. And sometimes my questions are a little unusual. Sometimes they're funny. Sometimes they're uncomfortable. And sometimes I start talking about a movie and somehow end up discussing the entire human experience. Well, that's me. And I've decided I'm not going to apologize for it. Because if I try to sound like everybody else, what exactly is the point of me being here?
Now, here's something I want you to think about. How do you know who you really are? I don't think you discover that by taking one personality test or finding the perfect inspirational quote. I think you discover yourself in the ordinary moments. What makes you curious when nobody is watching? What do you enjoy doing even when there's no applause? What bothers you enough that you want to change it? What kind of people make you feel comfortable being yourself? What do you keep coming back to, even after life has distracted you a hundred times? Those little things can tell you something. And here's another one. What would you create if you knew nobody was going to laugh at you? Oh, that's a good question. Because sometimes the fear of being judged is the very thing standing between us and the most interesting parts of ourselves.
We're so busy wondering whether people will approve that we never give our own ideas a chance to breathe. And yes, being original can be uncomfortable. People might disagree with you. Some might not understand what you're doing. Some might even tell you it's ridiculous. But disagreement doesn't automatically mean you're wrong, just as being different doesn't automatically mean you're right. That's why thinking for yourself also means being willing to listen, learn and reconsider things when new information comes along. You don't need to follow the crowd blindly. And you don't need to disagree with the crowd just to prove you're special. You simply need to be honest enough to examine what you believe. That's a skill. And like most useful skills, it takes practice.
I think that's one of the reasons I value quiet time so much. When I sit by myself and think, I can begin separating what I genuinely believe from what I've been told I should believe. I can question my choices. I can examine my habits. I can notice when I've been following something simply because everybody else seems to be doing it. And sometimes I discover that my own thoughts need a little adjustment. Imagine that. Being original doesn't mean being stubborn enough to refuse every new idea. It means being thoughtful enough to decide which ideas belong in your life.
And here's where I think our world could use a little more courage. Instead of constantly asking how to become more like somebody successful, perhaps we should ask what we can contribute that reflects who we actually are. Instead of chasing every trend, maybe we should create something that matters to us. Instead of measuring our worth by somebody else's attention, perhaps we should notice the work we're already doing. Because you matter before the applause. You matter before the money. You matter before anybody agrees with you.
And no, that doesn't mean every idea you have is brilliant. Some of mine have been absolute nonsense. I've had ideas that sounded fantastic in my head and looked ridiculous once I tried them. But that's part of creating. You try. You learn. You laugh. You adjust. And sometimes you make something wonderful. But you won't discover much if you spend your entire life waiting for permission to begin.
So here's my little challenge to you today. Find a few minutes to be alone with your own thoughts. Put down the phone. Turn off the television. Stop listening to everybody else's version of how your life should look. Ask yourself what you've been wanting to do. Maybe it's writing something. Maybe it's making something. Maybe it's starting a conversation. Maybe it's wearing that outfit you've been hiding in the closet because somebody once told you it looked strange. Maybe it's finally admitting that the life you've been trying so hard to fit into doesn't feel like yours anymore. Whatever it is, give yourself permission to explore it. Not recklessly. Not without thinking. But without automatically assuming that being different is something to be ashamed of.
Because the world has enough copies. It has enough recycled ideas, borrowed personalities and people pretending to enjoy things they don't even like. What it needs is more people willing to think, create and contribute from their own experiences. And that includes you. You don't need to be a Hollywood star. You don't need a million followers. You don't need a fancy title or somebody standing beside you announcing that you're worthy. You need to recognize that your life is yours to participate in. And if you've spent years trying to become somebody else, you can begin finding your way back. One thought, one choice, one honest little moment at a time.
My mama used to say you have to sow the seed before you can expect anything to grow. Well, I'm still sowing mine. I'm creating. I'm learning. I'm sharing my observations. And I'm trying to leave something meaningful behind, even if the world occasionally looks at me like I've got three heads. That's all right. I've learned to live with my own reflection. And believe me, that's a wonderful place to start.
So let me leave you with this. What part of yourself have you been hiding because you were afraid the world wouldn't understand it? Your humour? Your creativity? Your opinions? Your dreams? Your beautiful, slightly unusual way of seeing things? Whatever it is, perhaps it's time to let a little of it out. Because the very thing you've been trying to hide might be the thing that helps somebody else feel brave enough to be themselves. And wouldn't that be something?
Remember, the dirt of life might cover you for a while, but that doesn't mean you've stopped growing. Sometimes you're simply finding your roots before you reach the sunlight. And when you finally begin to bloom, you don't have to look like every other flower in the garden. You are not here to become a copy. You are here to discover what being you actually means.
Self-love and self-care will get you there, but you've got to show the work. One love. Take care of you, and don't forget to take care of that creator energy inside you.
— QueenB.Divine
If you've ever felt different, overlooked or afraid to show the world who you really are, I'd love to hear your story. What is one thing about you that makes you original? Leave a comment. You might discover that the very thing you thought made you strange is something another person needed to see.
Join me on The Self Love Daily Channel for more NOTICE THIS conversations about originality, self-love, self-care, creativity and finding your own way through life. And visit CellPhellow.com to explore my handmade creations and digital self-care resources by QueenB.Divine.
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